Written by Dr. Laura Lustig

THE RETIREMENT DILEMMA

There is much in the news that reminds us we have a growing population of senior citizens. The social security/Medicare issues and the rising cost of prescription drugs for example; these issues are testimony to the fact that a larger number of people are living longer and deserving of enriched quality of life. Unfortunately in our society, much more attention is given to the possible financial burdens of maintaining an older generation than to the potential for enriching our society that the older generations can offer through their accumulated wisdom and experience of life.

As a psychologist, I have become aware that clients facing 'retirement age' react either by feeling relieved and free to pursue other interests, or, more often in the case of male clients, have feelings of loss of self worth. Some men think of their productive years as over, mainly because productivity is often associated with revenue-producing work. This appears to be less of a problem with my female clients, who have apparently planned for their leisure-time life. One of the dilemmas, in fact, for married couples is the disparity between males and females at this stage of life. Women, feeling free of child-rearing and homemaking responsibilities, often become involved with a large variety of outside interests, ranging from vocational to volunteer and social activities, just at the point when men are retiring from the work world to life at home. The change in life pattern often means, as well, that the spouse is occupying more of his wife’s space than before, with little reflection on the need to change expectations of each other. In my practice, I have found that couples who find a good blend of time together and time for separate activities to satisfy individual interests are most likely to find their bonds strengthen and their lives useful.

Erik Erikson wrote that mentoring is the highest form of accomplishment for people reaching their senior years. For some, this may take the form of spending time with grandchildren. Grandparents offer a wonderful resource for young minds, when they play with them, go on outings with them, talk to them about life experiences and relate stories from the past. In too many families, the role of grandparents in enriching the lives of children has gone vacant.

In addition, teaching, working within their community, or some form of charitable work may be highly satisfying. For some, travel and new recreational activities are chosen. In all these ways, people retiring from one pathway and moving into others may help themselves to feel youthful and vital. For others, staying on in their workplace for as long as possible appears to be their direction, until retirement is forced upon them by advanced age, ill health or changes in the work environment. The latter may offer the least opportunity for adjustment to retirement, particularly if the changes in life experiences are sudden and unplanned.

There is no right way to retire. While many who have reached senior citizen status can and do feel the freedom to pursue interests they never before had time to do, it is also recognized as a time when there are likely to be more losses. Those who react by retreating into restricted pathways are more likely, in my judgment, to become depressed.

Whether you are a couple or a single person, I believe that psychologically, it is most important for your mental health as you age to expand your relationships, commit to expansion of your experiences, and choose leisure-time activities which relieve stress.

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