FIT TO BE A CHILD
Written by Dr. Laura Lustig

The trend today is for little children to skip the early developmental tasks and learn the habits of older children and adults early in life. For example, society encourages children to begin academic learning earlier than ever. With mothers taking full-time jobs, children may enter many different programs and group experiences requiring the discipline and socially acceptable behavior that formerly was required of older children. The effects of TV and the computer age places children in front of a screen for many hours of the day. In addition, today’s busy schedules have created fast food/junk food tastes almost as soon as children are on solid food diets.

The result is that many more children today are steered toward lethargy and away from their natural tendency toward highly active motor involvement. In fact, when children break out of the more sedentary mode forced upon them, into high-spirited activities, they may, in some instances, be labeled hyperactive. For some children with disabilities, their need for gross motor activity, coupled with their lack of coordination and organization, may result in behavior that appears chaotic, and even destructive to the household.

Yet, we know that such activities as jumping, running, climbing, are important to cognitive development and lead the child toward important learnings about his spatial environment. Spatial learning leads toward the next step in cognitive development. In fact, many areas of academic work rely on what is termed “sensory/motor development”. Accomplishment of motor tasks also helps the young child feel in control of his world, and therefore helps build self confidence.

Parents can help children who have difficulty with motor tasks by organizing specific fun activities with them. Motivating young children toward developmentally appropriate activities requires the participation of mothers and fathers, who are the role models for the child. The emphasis is NOT on perfection but on just having fun. If it is thought of as a time to be active together, a special time for parent and child to do some fun activities, the child will not think of it as a chore. Also, moving from one activity to another, in an organized sequence, accomplishes important goals. For example, if your child has a limited attention span, and you sequence the actitivites to keep him interested, you are building in a discipline that is necessary for later school work, when the child is expected to move from one task to another in sequence. Learn to judge when the child is phasing out; just give him as much as he can tolerate, and build slowly toward greater time commitments.

In following this type of routine, be flexible. There may be times when the child’s attention span is more limited or he needs to have some change in the sequence, including a break to just do something relaxing with the parent. It is not always recognized that children have their own stresses building up, much as adults do, and that they need to “chill out”, just as adults do. Recognizing this fact shows respect for the child’s feelings. Self-esteem grows, not only from his accomplishments, but also from permission for his feelings.

A note to the parent about competition and pressing the child to perform better. One way to build in a sense of failure, or fear of failure and thereby a hesitation to try new activities, is through emphasis on competition. When a child moves into traditional sports teams, he may be learning to judge his self-worth by his ability to win. If the challenge is within himself, then task accomplishment doesn’t take on the same effect. (This is a general rule, in fact, that applies as well to his academic achievements.) If activities at home are based on enjoyment of his own accomplishment, self-esteem is enhanced; and if the child does go into competition, he will have had an opportunity to balance his desire to win with the knowledge that he is successful just for having tried. In the final analysis, children cannot appreicate success if they have never known, and accepted, failure.

Be young with your children, and build their self esteem by valuing the things that can only be enjoyed in childhood.

Another point about keeping the motivation high: finish with something special, a game the child wants to play, a story the child wants you to read, or even just a promise to tell someone close to the child how welll he is performing; staying on task is a worthwhile accomplishment, regardless of the level at which he performs it. Always find something positive to say.

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